


False Smile

by yalltookmyusernameideas



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, morally neutral Deceit, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 03:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20807840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yalltookmyusernameideas/pseuds/yalltookmyusernameideas
Summary: Patton made a deal with Deceit that would help him hide his feelings so he could better focus on helping the others. After Moving On, Patton is feeling really bad and doesn’t feel like hiding it, so he goes to talk to Thomas, and he finds he can’t stop smiling.





	False Smile

**Author's Note:**

> That you to @sandersstuffsblog on tumblr for sending me this prompt!

Patton felt… bad.

Not the kind of bad where you’d done something wrong. Not the kind of bad where you missed an important event. Not the kind of bad where you missed a friend's birthday. Just… _bad_.

He was miserable. He’d bottled up his feelings for so long in favor of helping others, outsourcing his problems, solving those of the other sides, of Thomas, as a placebo for his own emotions. He felt _good_ when helping them. He felt _good_ when they looked up at him with a hopeful gaze, a smile on their lips, and maybe a few tears in their eyes but they were feeling better and Patton felt better because he helped them, he could help them, he was doing his job, he was _good_ at his job-

But Patton felt bad. Which meant Thomas probably felt bad. Which was… not good.

Patton rose up in the living room, plastering on a fake smile. Thomas was sitting on the couch rewatching the office bloopers.

“Hey kiddo! How you feeling?” He asked with false cheer.

Thomas looked up and offered a halfhearted smile. “Hey Pat. I’m… okay. Things seemed to have calmed a bit. What about you? You surely can’t be feeling all too great right now.”

Patton felt the corners of his smile stretch painfully. “Oh… y’know…”

Thomas’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “I actually don’t know, Pat. Do you need to talk?”

_Yes! I do! I can’t take this anymore!_

“No, kiddo, just checking in on you!” Patton’s smile wouldn’t go away. He sunk out just before he felt his lips split, tasting blood.

Once back in the mindscape, Patton’s smile crumpled. He was in his room. He was safe. He could cry.

Patton grabbed a pillow, burying his face in it. He finally felt allowed to fall apart. Sobs wracked his body as he finally felt his emotions flow freely. His lips left stains he dreaded trying to wash out.

Patton didn’t know how long he stayed there, curled up and sobbing. It could have been hours, days even. But he felt a hand on his shoulder, and reluctantly looked up.

Deceit stood there, looking remorseful. Patton sniffed, drying his tears.

“What do you want?” He asked, and there was no bite to his words, just resigned sadness.

Deceit bit his bottom lip. He wouldn’t meet Patton’s eyes.

“I… I’m _not_ sorry.”

Patton’s eyes widened in realization.

_“Can you… hide my feelings? From the others and Thomas? I don’t want to worry them…”_

_“You’re sure? This definitely can’t go wrong.”_

_“Yes, please! Just for a little while!”_

Patton let out a humorless chuckle. “I have no one to blame but myself. I asked for this. You even tried to warn me!” His laughter grew, both in volume and hysterics.

Deceit’s eyes widened. He… he didn’t want this. He didn’t want a Patton that couldn’t be honest with Thomas, or the others, or even himself.

“I… I _won’t_ find a way to fix it. I _don’t_ promise, Patton. I _won’t_.”

Patton smiled ruefully, hysteric laughter filling the room.

“Silly little snake, there’s nothing to fix!”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated!! <3


End file.
